Real Life Learning – Family-style

This article is from August 2002, but I don’t see where I posted it when the blog moved here, so here it is…(again?)…

Sometimes you may be tempted to think that homeschool and family life just don’t mix, especially if you have several little ones in your home. Let me encourage you, God knew all about your little ones and their needs before He even called you to educate your older ones at home. He wanted you to learn that home education is a Lifestyle for all of you, newborns to adults. And for you to all learn together.

Real Life Education – family-style – doesn’t happen in a pristine, secluded environment. Nursing newborns, 2 year old tornadoes, and inquisitive 4’s and 5’s are all a part of Real Life Home Education. The last thing we want to do in a godly home is give any of our kids – the older OR younger – the idea that children are an inconvenient pain and a hindrance to accomplishing anything worthwhile in life. We must convey to all of our children that children are a Blessing from the Lord and they should be received as such. This isn’t always easy when they are ACTING like an inconvenient interruption to what we are trying to do. But whether we’re working on educational activities or other projects of life, our children will be there needing loving attention, AND acting like the foolish children they are, until we train them otherwise and let them know what is expected of them. Giving them boundaries that they are capable of keeping within, while also giving them of ourselves.

There are many ideas for you to explore, to see which works best in your home. My guess is that you will use all of them at various times. But all should be in keeping Real Life Living the focus, not education as an isolated fragment of life. In other words, it is unrealistic to expect to set up 45-60 minute class periods at several individual levels, and teach each of these subjects everyday to every child. You will burn-out VERY quickly, especially when you have other little ones that just don’t – SHOULDN’T – fit into a classroom model. Although we want our children to grow into being independent learners, there is something far more valuable for them to learn, and that is Relationship, the interdependence of Real Life. Education happens through the Real Life interdependence of Relationships, not independent isolationism.

We believe education IS a Life. It is growing through exercising all areas of our Life. We exercise our bodies to grow in strength and capabilities. We exercise our minds to grow in intellectual capabilities. We exercise our spirits to grow spiritually. This is not something that can be put into a box of certain hours, or certain rooms or environments, but is something that is of Life, all the time, everywhere, and amongst those we live with. This means we are all learning all the time and together, not just the 6-18 year olds, from 8:30 – 3:30, Monday through Friday.

This will translate into: “short lessons“, as Charlotte Mason proposed; working together, each contributing and learning at their own capabilities; and allowing for flexibility of Real Life. Charlotte Mason utilized short lessons of 10-15 minutes to both hold and pique children’s interest. In the Real Life home this adds the benefit of Mom not being tied up to one thing for long periods of time. When children need individual instruction, she breaks the teaching down into short understandable sections. As we all study the “things of Life” together, we will each learn at the level we are capable of as well as contribute according to our capabilities. We will not all learn the same details and to the same level of understanding, but we – including grown-ups, as well as toddlers, and all those in-between – will learn SOMETHING of the topic as well as learning of Relationships. All will also learn “on their own”, the younger through their work and play, the older through their work and study (as well as play). The older youth need to have independent study time when they can study for longer periods of time while mom cares for the needs of the little ones and the household.

Come Along Side of Us – This is the method we use most, and the most conducive to true “family-style” education as a Lifestyle. When we write, our little ones have paper and pencil and “write” along with us. When we work, they “work” along side of us. When we do hands-on projects or explore nature, they are by our sides. When we read, they sit and listen (or at least keep quiet).

Are there interruptions? Yes. We use these as opportunities to train them. Does it try our patience? Sometimes, but we can’t allow our underdeveloped patience to interfere with these opportunities to train them in attentiveness and obedience (as well as cause us to grow in patience). Can our older ones actually LEARN anything when their lessons are interrupted? Certainly!!, most importantly they should learn that children are valued, need love and training, and that Relationships matter more than anything else. I truly believe that God will honor our keeping first things first and cause all other things to be added to us. In other words, when we keep relationships first yet not neglect the “studies”, He will cause our studies to be fruitful.

Sometimes we just plain aren’t able to read aloud as long as we’d like, due to the little ones needs. Other times we utilize naptime (or for us, before they get up in the morning) to have a longer time period for read-alouds. But we don’t leave the little ones completely out of it, otherwise how will they ever learn to sit quietly and enjoy these times with us?

The Education Toy (TOOL) Box – Many families utilize the “education toy box”, special toys ONLY brought out during “school time”. The problem with this theory in general is that there is a supposed time for “school”, a TIME for education, and other times that are NOT for education. Now, in practical application this CAN work as a part of “Come Along Side of Us”, by giving the little ones their OWN tools of learning. Long before “homeschool” days my mother gave me and my siblings, then later I gave my own little ones, their own measuring cups, bowls, and spoons to play with while she/ I cooked. We had brooms, spray bottles and rags for cleaning alongside. And of course, there was always the ever-present paper and writing utensils of all sorts, coloring books and colors, and puzzles for quiet times. As we brought ALL of education home we added rubber crepe alphabet-letters, “counting” bears and rods, as well as play money and tangrams and attribute shapes. The little ones can “learn independently” and we teach the older “lessons”. they can do this quietly in the same room with you, or in a near by room for a little more quiet.

The Sibling Mentor – Undeniably, there are times when we need to spend concentrated, uninterrupted time with one or several children, and this isn’t always for “school” things. During these times it is helpful to have one of the older children play with the younger ones. How this works out is different for every family, for every family has a different age mix. For those of you with many little ones and no very big ones yet, I remind you that your older doesn’t need much individual “teaching time” yet. He doesn’t need formal academics, and his lessons in Life should be kept short. You may need to utilize naptime. But, even a 4 year old can play with a 2 year old while your newborn is napping or nursing and you are instructing your 8 year old. Your older children don’t just need to WATCH the little ones. They can play with and even TEACH them. This is one of the most overlooked helpful methods for moms of many, multiplying your teaching efforts by utilizing your older ones to help teach the younger. The lesson can be anything from your 5 year old teaching your 2 year old colors and shapes, to your teen teaching his younger siblings to read or math facts. This is of great benefit not only to you and the younger child, but also, very much so, to your older child. He who can teach a thing, knows it well. This method may be needed while you’re teaching a math lesson, – or a disciplinary lesson, or you may utilize it even when you don’t NEED your older one to do it, just plain for his benefit. If you have several older children that need some individual instruction at various levels in math or other skills areas, they can take turns mentoring and playing with the younger ones while you teach the other older ones.

The Electronic Babysitter – This is the least favorable, yet by many, most utilized method. I highly caution you against using it at all! Your little ones will realize that if Mom keeps busy enough, they can watch more TV/videos or play more electronic/ computer games. You will be dulling their minds and training them in habits of “vegetating”. Later, when you want them to focus on learning, you will regret having trained them in unproductive laziness. Your older children will also resent it. “How come they get to watch TV all the time?” And they will wish they could watch TV instead of working at learning. Better to train your little ones to play constructively and quietly, or utilize their nap times, than to foster an addiction to electronic media.

Utilizing primarily Come Along Side of Us, along with The Education Tool Box, and The Sibling Mentor will yield benefits to your family’s education at home. It will foster unity in the family and a great start in learning for your little ones. They will catch on to so much of what you are doing. They will also grow-up knowing that learning is for all and something that all ages do together. The older will learn responsibility for the younger and the younger respect for the older. You all will learn that education is Real Life for all.