This post will continue to address some of the questions one of our List Moms asked.
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Times of Refreshing – Part 2
In Part 1 of this article I gave some ideas for coming to a place of Peace
and Rest in God’s presence before attempting to do anything else. One of
LM’s main questions was what to do with her children all day as she is going
through this Season of Renewing and finding God’s direction that leads to
lasting peace and implementation.
Lord of the Sabbath – Redeemer
I’m a great believer in the Sabbath. Not the Pharisaical legalism of what
can and can’t be done on the Seventh day, but rather the Spirit behind the
Law; the benefit and redemption that comes from spending time resting in the Lord; how we accomplish more in 6 days, than working all 7, by spending the 7th in His Rest; how we accomplish more in 24 hours by giving the first hour or two to seeking Him. He is truly our Redeemer, not only of our souls, but also of our time.
How does this apply to what to do with our children all day? Basically
because I believe God redeems that time that we spend resting in and seeking Him. What are your children doing all day *now,* while you’re “spinning your wheels”? Are you spending all your time working with them but accomplishing nothing? Are they sitting in front of the TV or playing
computer games? Or, more than likely, somewhere inbetween?
I doubt that while you spend time seeking God for His Peace and direction
for them, they will do any *worse* than they’re doing now. AND your time
will not be wasted. Although, you may have been wasting your time while
they were doing these things before, you aren’t anymore. Your time is in
the Redeemer’s hands. And He will now make up lost time for you after you
find His true direction.
It’s like when you don’t have time to stop and ask directions. You spend a
lot of time driving up and down streets that get you nowhere, and probably
end up arriving late. But when you stop and take time to ask directions and
carefully listen, for however long it takes, rather than dashing out
half-way through, although it leaves you less time to get where you’re
going, you don’t need as much time, because you know how to get there – and you may even get there ahead of schedule.
So, you could just let your children keep doing what they’re doing. But
let’s see if we can come up with some creative ways of helping them be more
productive, especially if they’ve been destroying your house, fighting with
their siblings, or vegging out on electronics all day.
1) If you have children age 3 and under, they probably can’t do any *better*
without some help with them.
2) Ages (aprox.) 4-7 or 8 should be able to spend their time
constructively – OK, at least not DE-structively. I don’t *expect* *ANY*
academic work from this age group, so the key is just finding them anything
non-destructive to do – until you can train them to be constructive.
I think household chores are ideal for this age group, that has so much
energy. They are usually eager to help do “big people” work. This is not
the time (during your Season of Renewal) to teach them heavy-duty cleaning, nor to expect perfection out of them. And, yes they will need direction from someone for each task. You can’t just give them a list and say, “Do this today.” But, you or someone else can say, “Empty the trash cans in
each room into the big one in the kitchen, then report back to me when
you’re done,” then give them another task.
This age group can, unsupervised, do things like: put away their own things,
pick up their room, sort clean laundry by who it belongs to, fold towels,
socks, underwear, and probably their own clothes, (but not MINE :- ), put
clothes from the washer into the dryer and start it, (toward the older end
of this) start clothes in the washer that are already sorted. They can set
and clear dishes from the table, collect “stray” dishes from around the
house, and perhaps put away clean dishes. They can sweep or wipe up small areas/ messes. They can feed and water pets. They can dust furniture, if you don’t have a lot of breakables. And there are so many more as they get
to the older end, and if you’ve already been training them.
They can also listen to a Bible story on tape and pray for their own Quiet
Time/ Devotions. They can draw and color pictures, and put together
puzzles. They can play quietly in a designated place – like your playroom,
or backyard, if it’s safe. And, if they are used to electronics time, you
can “reward” them for doing the above, with a *short* amount of time for an
educational but fun computer game, or Christian video.
3) Ages 8-12 or 13 can do all of the above plus much harder chores. If they
are reading on their own, most are at some point in this age range, they
should be reading the Word and praying in their private time with God. I
still don’t pursue *formal* academics with this age. But some quiet “Table
Time” projects they can work on by themselves are: Copywork – from the Bible and/or good literature; Reading – series like Trailblazers or Christian
Heros Then and Now, or The Light and the Glory and Sea to Shining Sea for
children, or classic children’s literature – Charlotte’s Web, Little House
on the Prairie series, etc. Further Math, Spelling, and Grammar skills
will have to wait until you can spend more concentrated teaching time, and
perhaps have further direction on how to best teach these. But these are
skills that can be learned in a fairly short time when the student is ready
and mom is at peace.
What about children that are more activity-oriented than bookworms, whose
quiet reading and copywork time has quickly reached its limit? And, even
the bookworm needs some activity. Shooting hoops, roller blading, and bike
riding are all activities this age group can do on their own, if you live in
a safe place. In addition, your children can work on creative projects of
interest to themselves. What are they interested in doing creatively – as
producers, not consumers? Take them to the library. Buy them a few
supplies. And let them go at it, on their own (which means the project
cannot be dangerous, or require further skill training first). Do they like
to build or make things? Cook or sew? Write? Scrapbook? Garden? Play an
instrument? Do they love the computer? Let them design and produce
something, not just play. This is their chance to do something they’re
interested in, not just what you direct them to do – although obviously,
their choices must be within boundaries you set.
4) Ages 13 or so and on up, can continue all the things listed for ages
8 -12 on a higher level. They should be able to research and self-learn new
skills, as well as supervise and direct younger siblings. They can oversee
basic household needs, fix meals, do all daily household chores. They can
(learn how to) seek and find God, and enter His presence in their Devotional
time. They can do Copywork, Writing, Reading, Documenting/ Notebooking,
Science experiments, and perhaps learn further math skills on their own.
What about you?
In this Season of seeking God for direction and gaining peace, you may spend a day or two completely locked away by yourself, but realistically, on most of your days, and probably not even *every*day, this time will only be an hour or two. The rest of your day will be devoted to caring for your
children and going about your daily duties, walking in the Peace you’ve
found in Him. Don’t step out of His presence and out of His Peace when you
step out of your quiet, private place. Stay in His Peace and the atmosphere
will begin to rub off on your children.
Set no expectations for “school” at this time, other than them spending time
on the above mentioned ideas – whichever of them will work without stress in your family. Spend time just enjoying being with your children, accomplishing whatever you do and no more. Not working on anything that stresses either of you, just enjoying each other, perhaps not accomplishing anything more than minimum maintenance on the housework.
Sound too idealistic? Perhaps it is, but this is the atmosphere and goal
you are looking for. Do some things together that will promote Relationship
and Peace, perhaps some outings, perhaps some projects at home, perhaps
reading to them. Try to work in some individual time for each child.
Begin the day with your children, after you’ve had your private time with
the Lord, with Family Worship. This doesn’t have to be a highly structured
or long time. It is a time where your children are learning that worshiping
and seeking God are top priority for your family, not just individually but
also as a family, not just on Sunday but everyday. This time can be as
simple as putting a Praise and Worship CD on as breakfast is being fixed and everyone’s gathering together and while you’re eating. Just filling the
atmosphere with Praise to God really helps set the tone of the home.
Consider leaving it going softly all day. Perhaps you want to all stand and
sing together after you finish eating. We’ve done this as training for
church worship service, when our children were younger. Then read the Word and Pray together.
Then spend some time with your children, as mentioned above, and do what’s required in your home. Then perhaps you can get them all involved in their quiet, private projects and you can steal away to spend more time with the Lord, in prayer or the Word, or even seeking Him through other resources.
If you have not read much on home education philosophy and you need this
info, I can recommend several resources compatible with L.E.D.’s philosophy, as well as our own materials. If you’re already “hearing too many voices” – you’ve read so much, you’re confused – it’s probably best that you just sit at Jesus’ feet, perhaps reading books about drawing nearer to Him (which is *THE* place to start even you if need to read the home ed philosophy and principles books too.) I firmly believe that the Holy Spirit is our teacher, and we are to, as individual families, follow Him in His direction
for *our family*. But I also believe that others have blazed the way after
Him that can be Mentors for us – as Paul said, “you follow me as I follow
Christ.” We can learn much from Godly pioneers, although we still have to
go back and seek the Lord for *exactly* how he wants us to implement
specific principles into our family.
Don’t look at your children’s needs during this time as “interruptions”, but
as opportunities to build relationship with them. They still need you, and
you are still responsible for them, even as you seek the Lord. He made you
a mother, and He has given you the grace necessary for a mother. He
understands your needs, and your children’s and will see you both through.
Just DON’T LOSE HIS PEACE in the midst of everyday life. You’ve heard it
from me before and will continue to hear it, RELATIONSHIP IS EVERYTHING!!!!
As your day winds down, spend some time putting projects away, putting the
house in order, and preparing to serve your husband. Homeschool isn’t
everything, RELATIONSHIP IS!!!
In the future, I will present more on Routine – ordering your day, after your Season of Renewal. You may be able to add more things than what I’ve presented here and still keep things running peaceful and smoothly, but this is a good place to start.
